Hard to be Scrooge

Well we've spent the last 10 days trying to get over a cold. Both Teresa & I picked up something our last day or two in Ukraine. Runny nose, stuff running down our throats. Oops overshare.

We usually alternate between our families each Christmas, this year we stayed home. We didn't decorate anything. Wayne (younger son) came over for a few hours and it was all very relaxed. We talked to lots of our family by phone and that made it seem a little more like Christmas.

Where things are with Dennis, Sergei, and Vitali: We have written and had notorized all the information that we thought was relevant to the case and met with the attorney for the State Department for Adoption in Kyiv. They will forward a letter to the director in the town where the kids were born asking that he justify how the current situation is in all of the kids best interest. He will need to respond by February.

We never know how much to believe of everything that we see or hear. If we thought that the kids would all be together or near each other we would leave things as they are now. However we were told that a Psychologist interviewed the boys and they were not aware that they had a younger sister. According to some written reports and some other comments the kids biological father died shortly after she was born. She spent the first 18 months of her life in the hospital (we suspect fetal alcohol syndrome)and then was moved directly into the foster home where she still is. About nine months after she was born the parental rights of the mother were revoked. The record says that she was present in court that day and did not object to her rights for all four kids being terminated. The social worker found the boys with no adults in the home. All of the furniture had been sold, there was no firewood, coal or gas at the home and the electricity had been shut off. It also listed the mother as an alcoholic and living an immoral lifestyle. Sadly that seems typical for many of the children in the orphanages.

From what we were told the father had had three wives and eleven children among them before he died. The boys mother being the last of the three. The boys do seem to remember having some half-siblings. Over the last two years they have only been visited once by a grandmother.

At present the foster family receives a pension (something like what social security in the US would provide a surviving child) as well as payments for being foster parents. When we were first told about the girl we said no problem we will adopt all four of them. Later we were told that she was already adopted by the foster family and finally that they filed adoption papers when they heard we had a referral for the boys. At each step along the way we asked if that would be a problem for us adopting the boys and were always told it would not be. Until the last time when we learned that the papers had not been filed until after we arrived.

The inspector is following Ukrainian law about not seperating children however that same law says that you must do what is in the best interest of all of the children. It appears to us that it is in the foster family's financial interest to never complete the adoption of the girl. They have already said they can't adopt all four kids. The problem with this scenario is that it means the boys will never be adoptable and will remain in the orphanage system until they age out somewhere around 16-18 years old.

So for now we are willing to wait a few months and see if there is any possibility that we can adopt the boys.

As Americans we now know that in terms of material things we have all of our needs met and most of our wants. We have a loving and supportive family, we have friends, neighbors and a church that also supports us emotionally and with their time. (Hopefully we can pay it forward) Why were we born Americans when most of the people born on this planet are just barely getting by? I don't know.

Even in our personal finances we are much better off than we thought we would be just a few weeks ago. Our facilitator itemized the actual expenses of the trip and sent us home with the rest of the cash that had not been spent. Some of our time off was understood to be unpaid and yet employers provided Christmas bonuses that covered the time we were off.

We have been very angry that everything did not work out the way we had hoped and yet for the last few days I've had a song running through my head from about twenty years ago. It's called "doubly good to you"

If you look at the blogs that I follow you will see that Heidi and Felix got home on Christmas Eve with their kids. Join us in Thanking God that they are home and with three new Americans. (Adopted kids become American citizens when they land here) And please continue to pray with us that Jim & Kari will soon have their kids home also.

Our story is not over yet but we will post much less frequently over the next few months. Two accountants, year end reports for four organizations and having been away for four weeks should keep us off the blog for most of the time.

May you enjoy a very Merry Christmas with those who are most important to you at this time of year. And remember to Thank the Lord, He's been doubly good to You.